Change is hard. Scratch that. Change is very hard. Period.
“I walked into 2021 scared shitless. Well, since I became an adult, I would say this was the first year I approached with anticipation of at least four significant life changing events” — Od (December 31, 2021)
These were the opening lines of an article I wrote exactly 24 months ago. A year before that, I had written about how I anticipated significant changes in several aspects of my life and even though I was somewhat aware of the fact that it would not be straightforward, nothing really prepared me for the messy middle — that puzzling region between origin and destination.
“Life is like a puzzle. It all seems a mess…but when it gets fixed, it looks awesome” — Anon.
Over the past three years, my journey through life has involved a couple of personal and professional shifts — altering the trajectory of my identity. Navigating this transformative period has presented many lessons in resilience, adaptability, and the intricacies of managing life’s messy middle. For example, the messy middle of my professional shifts meant that I had to manage the delicate balance between exploring new possibilities and exploiting my existing knowledge and skills. I have had to embrace the discomfort of learning new skills, joining new communities, adapting to new environments and redefining my identity. I have also had to constantly learn to communicate differently — often dancing between the roles of expert and neophyte. Phew! I feel I am getting better at embracing the discomfort that comes with the change and transformation but it really has not been easy.
“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved” — Helen Keller (Deafblind Child)
This period has challenged my understanding of self, relationships, and resilience. It really demanded a recalibration of balance. I still struggle to find that balance and I am hoping to improve in the new year because for most of 2023, I was unable to develop or stick to a proper routine. My travel schedule was mostly up in the air (pun), my time with the kids was thrown off-kilter, my food timetable was non-existent and my hobbies were largely neglected. Essentially, everything was turnioniown that year. In retrospect, I am happy I got the wakeup call when my body joined the Teach-Od-About-The-Messy-Middle challenge. My body drew my attention to the messy middle between agile youth and elder statesman. Imagine getting simultaneous phone calls from your head, your knee and your gut (that acid reflux episode really sucked). The message is clear now!!!
As I said in the beginning, change is hard and indeed, it is hardly linear. It is a messy, complex journey that demands adaptation and resilience. The messy middle I have come to realise, is that place where we shed old identities and embrace new ones. It is where we discover the strength to navigate life’s unpredictable twists and emerge with a more profound understanding of ourselves, our environments and our relationships.
“Life is a balance between what we can control and what we cannot. I am learning to live between effort and surrender” — Danielle Orner
Now, years into this transformative journey, I reflect on the personal and professional lessons of the messy middle I am learning. Whilst I recognise that the messy middle can be a challenge, I also see it as an opportunity to redefine myself and emerge a stronger, more confident person in my future pursuits. The messiness I conclude, is where innovation, resilience, personal and professional growth thrive. It is where identities transform. I have also learned through this intricate dance of personal and professional change that the messy middle is messy for a reason — requiring one to navigate uncertainty gracefully and embracing the discomfort boldly.
In 2024 and beyond, as I continue to navigate these uncharted personal and professional waters, I want to be able to continuously appreciate the beauty in chaos, the strength in vulnerability, and the power of embracing change with open arms.
“Think you can, think you can’t; you will always be right” — Henry Ford
So here is to embracing the challenges that redefine us, to the messiness that forges resilience and to the unpredictable journey that shapes our identities. These lessons have taught me that the messiness is not just a phase to endure but also an opportunity to thrive.
Happy New Year.
Odiong